did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
