tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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