Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
