what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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