he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
