I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize