sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
