I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
