we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
