I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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