he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
