doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
