come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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