look no pants
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
