No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
