im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
