We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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