Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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