I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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