We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
organizing the empties. That sober.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
