you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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