The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
