ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
