Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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