Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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