Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
