Umm I'm too high to move.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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