hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
