sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
