dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
