just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
