Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
