I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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