Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
