i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
