i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
