if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize