so that wasnt chicken after all
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
