I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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