whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
