Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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