somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize