Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
