i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
