i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
