This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
