I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
