You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ok first of all what the fuck
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
