Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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