u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
jump out the window naked night went bad
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
