I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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