Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
