yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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