just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
