How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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