no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my liver is dry heaving
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
