theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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