all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize