Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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