My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize