What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
