hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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