I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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