Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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