thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
