I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pappa wants mamma naked
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
