Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
