Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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