who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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