So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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