No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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