After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
