why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
